My Thoughts and Feelings Today

I am a black male forty five years old I made a lot of poor decisions in my life. When I was younger I was self-centered going through a identity crisis. Growing up a lot of people felt my rage because I lacked understanding of how to ask for help. Today my eyes are open but I still struggle because I've been doing wrong so long that wrong feel right and right feel wrong. I am Muslim been Muslin since 1999 and I am grateful that Allah (SWT) allowed me to be Muslim because with Allah permission know man or women will be only Allah mercy allow us to be Muslims so I am grateful. Islam put balance in my life I care and respect our creators creation once upon a time I had no regards for life force. I suffer in here because what motivate me is paying bills taking care of my wife and children. Right now I am in a state of depression because my strengths is to provide protect smh at myself because I allowed my desires to get the best of me and I committed so many sins openly knowing better. I am surround around so many under achievers and men that claim to be men but have so many female tendency. Insha'allah I get some relief so I can go home and lead my home to the paradise. It's a struggle in here however pain is good pressure bust pipes or make diamonds and I am shinning I am a leader mentally physically spiritually Mashallah. I am walking this 17 years sentence down. I have obtained the proper tool so that when I return to society I will make change I have a 18 year old daughter and a 12 year old son that will soon be 13 in fifteen days. My goal inshaallah is to get back in society and make generational money and teach them that in life you may fall but never lay down always get back on your feet and walk towards the light never give up be your own best friend and never place such high expectation on mankind because we all was created weak and fall short. Trust is given not earned. To my family I love you all and inshaallah when I touchdown your leader is awoke so we will win legit money dreams and thoughts. For those incarcerated focus on change even if your standing alone stay away from feeble minded people the strong rule the weak however the wise rule all. To my fellow comrades that's so focused on working out balance is the key read books big muscles don't pay bills it's just food for the worms when Allah call us back so is fat lol however educating yourself does. Singing off a proud owner of (POV) Hamzah we going to build this company from the mud with or without this is our dream and our team will make it a reality inshaallah.