Heartfelt Words

As a prisoner how you utilize your time is important. I started getting into trouble with the law on paper at the age of 16. That is 27 years that I'll never be able to get back. We call it the "Game", but every game that I played you can pause it and start over. So the reality is that this is not a game, its real life. When you get a life sentence you are now stuck in that game unless you find a loophole or some other way out, which is extremely difficult. Does this sound like a game? When one of us gets murdered in the streets there is no coming back. Guess what? When you die in Call of Duty, you come back. That is a game. See the difference? Let us stop changing the definition of words. I'm 43, and now I finally get it. We say experience is the best teacher, but this is only true when you don't fall in the same hole twice, because of your past experience. That is learning from your experience. So that experience became a teachable moment, do you agree? I've been to prison numerous times from this experience I've learned nothing until I end this cycle. Only then will this experience become my best teacher. This is my opinion, and some may disagree and that is alright, however, I stand on what I said unless someone care to share, to change my perspective. I sit back now that I have an older mind and analyze how these prisons are set up and I now understand how I/we get caught up in this revolving door. I've noticed that when it comes to bettering ourselves, very few are interested and for those that are ready it's so many restrictions to prevent you from rehabilitating yourself.

For example, all of the good programs a person can only get if they are close (within 36 months) of going home. For the one that is fighting his case it appears that s/he isn't trying to change because they are unable to program because of the lengthy sentences. What I mean by fighting there case, is if a new law comes out, they prevail on appeal, or get back in court for any reason. The reason why this is important is because the judges consider their post-sentencing conduct, and the prosecutors are notorious for bringing up a persons lack of programming.

I happened to be blessed with a family that supports me, emotionally and financially. Therefore, I am able to take correspondence courses. The deck is stacked against us because the correspondence courses are expensive, and there are very few jobs in here that pay enough for one to further his/her education. When this facility is at its maximum capacity, its over 1500 (close to 1600) prisoners. So your chance of getting one of those good jobs is slim, but possible.

The school area, law library, and place of worship are small, however, the recreation (rec yard) can hold the entire prison population. We have treadmills, horse shoes, basketball courts, volleyball section, baseball field, football field, a section for tennis and handball, and racquetball, a track to run, pool tables, hobby craft rooms, music rooms, board games, televisions, etc. There are things that I left out, but that's enough to make my point. It's okay to stay healthy, but the muscle we need the most is the brain and if we are not consciously aware all of these distractions above keep us stagnate. Before we know it our time is up and we did not learn anything new. Then the chances of us returning to prison is higher.

let's be real how can we try something new if we learned nothing new? Do the time by educating yourself, and don't let the time do you by getting caught up in the frivolous things. What's even more important is that you educate yourself and not come here in the first place, and that is my greatest hope, and why I write to you all.

hamzah