For years I've heard prisoners say these words so many times. "I AM NOT INSTITUTIONALIZED" and mean it too. The sad part about it is we all are in some what in our own way. Everyday we get up with the same routine doing the same thing and never exercising our minds. Some are worse than others when it comes to this behavior. I am one to try an stick with an routine because routine builds CHARACTER. I strive to stay positive in everything I do in prison and not get caught up on the getting burnt out is the term we use when someone is INSTITUTIONALIZED. Imagine waking up at 6am everyday, going to get your cup of coffee and watching the same news sitting in the same chair in the same spot for years. Going to the shower with slippers on. When you get out people are going to look at you like you crazy but you're not. This is what prison has done to us over the course of our time. Now can this habit be broken? Yes it can! How!! By being different from everybody else. When you follow your own way of doing things, then this when you can break this cycle. I don't follow the crowds or try an fit in with the obvious. I make my own path and follow it, as long as it is align with prison rules. Some people can not live with others in a cell because they have put in there mind that that person have to live according to there ways and not share space together by compromising and coming up with ways to get along. "This is being burnt out". A person who behave this way will never see it or believe it when others tell him this.
Today this is my 13th year in being incarcerated and I have shown these traits at times because when you are behind these walls, you cant use your brain power like you want to and as a result, you start to find yourself repeating this same routine everyday. There is a good thing about being INSTITUTIONALIZED is if like me when I was out there in society, I had a hard time getting rest and waking up every morning getting ready for work. Just taking this time now to build a positive way of living so when I get out it wouldn't be so hard to adapt to the world. I am one to say that everybody will experience this at some point in there bid, its how you respond to it. Some will use this as a way of being lazy and just letting the time do them or you can respond by recognizing this behavior and using it to your advantage by picturing yourself out in the world working like a normal human being and not confined in your own mind like the system is designed to do. People look at me as different or weird because I don't or is not impressed with the ways of prison. They don't know that I've evolved as a man so much that nothing in this prison system concerns me other than doing the right thing to get home to my family, so if this is being "BURNT OUT" then to my readers I AM INSTITUTIONALIZED. Thank you for your time and patience in reading my thoughts. God bless and remember being INSTITUTIONALIZED isn't just for prisoners its for those who get caught up in there way of thinking at times. Not thinking outside the box. Lets get out of that comfort zone.